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Husband "Too Busy" To Care About Animals

by Melinda
(Westlake, Ohio, USA)

My husband says that he's too busy and has too much on his mind to care about animals. Veganism and animals' rights are strong values for me. I'm horrified that he knows about factory farming and still won't ditch meat and dairy. I've told him every reason I can think of to go vegan, and he's very resistant to that.

I'm most shocked though that he doesn't care.


Any suggestions? Should I just drop the subject?


I know how frustrating and shocking it can be to hear something like that, but unfortunately, it’s not uncommon. And, I can see where people are coming from when they mention things like this… there really are so many tragedies going on around us all the time, and it can be hard to see how adding another worry to the list can be worthwhile.

What I think it really boils down to is that the person hasn’t quite thought about the process. They may “know” about factory farming, but they may also be putting up a wall in their brain so they don’t really think about the process. If that same person were to actually witness the cruelty behind factory farms, I don’t think there’s any way they could stand behind their own philosophy of not caring.

Paul McCartney said, "If slaughterhouses had glass windows, we'd all be vegetarians."

Almost no humans can deal with watching needless suffering, and those who can are often mentally disturbed or simply conditioned from years of taking part in the process.

Because Paul McCartney is completely right, we are never allowed to see the killing process. I do know of a few smaller farms that allow viewers, and they make the process much more humane. But, on the vast, vast majority of farms, the suffering any of us would see would surely be too much to stomach.

The best way to handle this type of situation is to approach it from the viewpoint of how it affects that specific person.

After all, that's what they are saying they care about... themselves, and possibly the lives of other humans. They might be interested in the environmental affects of animal farming, but often I find these same people are not really interested in the global affects of their diets either.

So, I approach things like this from the health angle. There are numerous studies about the benefits of a vegan diet and the drawbacks of diets heavy in animal products. You can read up on the studies that show how animal-heavy diets are dangerous for your health and on how plant-based diets can lead to longer, healthier lives.

When it comes to how to talk specifically to your husband, it adds another element. You are in the same boots as many people who decide on their own to give up meat and dairy products. I’ve found that it’s really hard to convince anyone to do anything, especially with something as touchy as food. They more we push, the more others push back in defense. Instead, it’s often better to simply be a good example yourself. When your husband sees how easy it actually is to change your diet, and how good you look, he might decide to change himself. If he doesn’t change, he will at least accept and respect your choices.

Here are examples of a few other women in your shoes:
Kathy's husband refused to give up meat.


Nia wanted to know the best way to respond when people said they didn't care about animals.

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Going vegan with a non vegan partner
by: Tanya McClellan

I am new to veganism and have been vegetarian for a long while and have just moved in with my boyfriend who is very non vegan.

I want to transition to vegan, and he is very food-centric, he loves eating out and feels he has to compromise because he thinks my food choices are limited. Do you have any tips or strategies to help make it easier?

doesn't care about animals
by: MrsMc84

Tell him his high fat diet will cause poor circulation and impotence. They all care about that.

How to motivate a man....lol
by: Anonymous

I have found that you can't reason with meateaters. They have to come to it on their own. It's been my experience, too, that they are more likely to see the benefits from those of us who eat this way and MAYBE that will get them curious. More than anything else, it was how my husband FELT when he started eliminating meat, eggs and dairy that really convinced him. It didn't hurt that he had a health issue that made him sit up and take notice (diabetes). He also saw my dad taking insulin shots and didn't want to "go there." He also began noticing the equipment down south wasn't as "on demand" as it used to be, so with all of these motivating factors, he was willing to "try." They should really try it for at least 3 weeks, but if you can get them to do it for a week, even, I think they will begin to feel "lighter" and have more energy. That was what sold me...how much better and happier I felt.

those who don't accept veganism
by: Tina

When I went vegetarian about 3 years ago my mother was very against my doing so. But, I won her over without a word. Actions speak louder than words. Now I'm trying to go vegan she's all for it. She know a plant based diets are the best thing ever, and she's very aware of the suffering of animals. I let her do her own research and it really hit her what the meat industry was all about. I was reading Howard Lyman's books and she read them for herself. (He's is a cattle rancher who won't eat meat!) That impressed her a lot. Let people do ther own research it will impress them all the more then trying to tell them. They need to educate themselves about this, and even if they do and they still won't change their minds. Accept them as they are. Not all people will change. Even if they know there killing themselves. Some are very die-hard about this. I have many family members who think I have lost my mind. Just take it with a smile and move on.

by: LyNel

I know just where we wives are coming from with husbands. Mine had to have TWO near death experiences with his heart before I got his attention. Then his south end forgot to work & that got his attention. Can you believe it?? Now he's very concerned about HIS health & loves the meals I fix for him. He doesn't miss animal products at all. He has seen the Factory Farm films & is VERY upset about it. However, that didn't get his attention like loosing the manhood did. Now we've been vegan for several months & he's experiencing an increased blood flow. He hasn't had that happen in 10 years. It really takes them awhile to get it. Just be patient.

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